If ever you feel sad, upset, down, a little depressed, a lot depressed, just come here, scroll down.. and you should be healed!

Why you look so down?

look in my eyes, baby..

I’ll make you feel better..

Let me take my shirt off..

Ah, there we go.. Now where we were?

I remember..

Hang onto the table tightly!

Why are you turning around!?

Oh FUCK baby..

Mmmmm..

You’re gonna make me cum..

Oh god..

Now lay back..

I love how you taste..

You KNOW you feel better now!

-Sparkly

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY : a plea of extreme righteousness.  Is Rob Pattinson a sex bomb? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY.

ADORKABLE : a description of Rob used in context with roles like Daniel Gale in A Bad Mother’s Handbook.  Those glasses made Rob look ADORKABLE in that movie I could’ve just ate him up!

ASSCANDY : visual stimuli of Rob’s backside which causes lower responses.  Those jeans make for goooood ASSCANDY. *slap*

AWESOMESAUCE : awesome, only better.

BAD MUM : that of which results from a complete neglect of anything else in life other than sitting at your computer and devouring yourself in the miracle of Rob.  I forgot to feed the kids and hubby while lusting over pretties.  I’m a BAD MUM.

BONER SLEEVE : the end result of a completely turned on Rob where his peen went through the sleeve of his jacket while he was holding it, making it stiff and hard.  I want to put my arm through that BONER SLEEVE and tug on what’s inside, over.. and over.. and over again.

CRAPTASTIC : crappy to the 100^th degree; a lack of Robporn for more than 2.3 seconds causing droughts in the lower regions of female bodies, and some pups.  No new Rob pretties, too much work, and shitty BFs/Hubbies/others calls for a CRAPTASTIC fucking day.

CROCHIAL : a reference to the region of the crotch of Rob.  Damn, he’s looking pretty excited  in the CROCHIAL regions.

DISCO STICK : a reference to Rob’s peen.  I’d dance on that DISCO STICK all night to the sounds of our own music.

DOMWARD : Edward from The Dominant (by tarasueme); any reference to Edward that is dark, controlling, and can bring you to orgasm in seconds.  I’ve been a naughty girl just so DOMWARD can teach me a lesson in his playroom!

DOG : Jacob; the pup, anyone who has fleas.  The dog’s in the BBR again, get the poison peen pops and yell “Fetch!”

FECK : another word for fuck.  I want to feck Rob so hard that he forgets how to make sounds.

FILTHY HOORS : ones who obsess, lust, lurk, and drool over the wonder that is Rob Pattinson; us.  We, the ladies of the BBR, are filthy hoors.

FINGERPORN : any picture that portrays Rob’s fingers in such a manner that causes clitoral spasms or vaginal secretion.  That FINGERPORN was enough to make me feel as though I was getting fingerfucked by Rob himself.

FREEBALLIN’ : the act of not wearing any underwear underneath clothes; what we are thankful of Rob for; as Rob says, “Boxers of briefs?  Briefly in boxers!”.  You could tell when Rob is FREEBALLIN’ cause we get to see the outline of his peen perfectly though his pants.

FUCKAWESOME : awesome to the 100^th agree; a way of describing the fucking awesomeness that is derived from pictures of Rob.  Everyone in the BBR is FUCKAWESOME because we all want to fuck Rob and we all share him, too.

FUCKHAWT : Hot to the 100^th degree.  There is not one fucking picture of Rob that doesn’t screen FUCKHAWT.

FUCKTASTIC : Amazingly fucking fantastic.  A day that produces an abundance of new Rob pretties is a FUCKTASTIC day.

GAWD : Mol’s way of saying God.

GIRLEENS : Created by Shiv; a term for us girls.

GUHHH/GAHHH : the involuntary sound that is produced in the wake of any sensory stimulation from Rob.  *Looks at pretty* GAHHH!  *Reads smut* GUHHHH!

HAIRPORN : any picture that portrays Rob’s hair in such a manner that causes clitoral spasms or vaginal secretion.  The ability to be able to feel his hair through my fingers upon viewing a picture constitutes is as HAIRPORN.

HAPPYTRAIL : Rob’s pubic hair starting on tummy and trailing down towards the peen.  I wanna hike that HAPPYTRAIL and help Rob pitch his tent!

HATERADE : a substance that induces strong hate or dislike.  KStew drives us to drink the HATERADE with her hoorish and shady ways.

HAWT : a degree of hot that is beyond belief.  Damn, that man is HAWT he makes my panties melt!

HOLYSHITBALLS : an exclamation of pure surprise and joy in relation to any new Rob findings/pictures/peek-o-peens.  Rob’s in NY?  HOLYSHITBALLS!  I’m on my way!

HOT POCKET : Rob’s peen; the wonder; the jackpot; the money maker; his heavenly apex.  Let me heat up that HOTPOCKET and take a nice long suck!

JAPANROB : the group of pictures of Rob from the Twilight premiere in Japan.

JAWPORN : any picture that portrays Rob’s jaw in such a manner that causes clitoral spasms or vaginal secretion.  The JAWPORN is enough for me to actually feel that sharpness against my neck!

JESUS WEPT : the event in which the most forceful being in the believed universe cries due to the inexplicable beauty and sexfulness that is packed into one human at one time; the result of the most amazing pretties of Rob known to man.  JESUS WEPT when the shirtless photos of Rob from Italy surfaced due to their crippling capacitates.

Don’t stare for too long…

KIDDIE PORN : any pictures of Rob before he hit puberty (excluding baby photos)  The KIDDIE PORN is hurting my eyes with its lack of chest hair!

(not posting pictures of that!)

KNICKERS : panties.  There is NO need for Knickers in the BBR being they will be disintegrated upon one glance at the Great One.

LICKTASTIC : something so fantastic you could lick it clean; everything about Rob.  Rob’s jaw line is so LICKTASTIC I just want to drag my tongue along its edge and listen to his moans.

LURKING : the act of creeping through forums and threads but not posting anything.

LUSTING : the act of sexually obsessing over Rob Pattinson on a daily basis.

MAGIC CARPET : Rob’s pubic hair.  I think I’ll hope on the MAGIC CARPET and fly over to the hot pocket.

MANFUR : Rob’s chest/face/arm/leg hair that makes so deliciously masculine.

MOUTHPORN : any picture that portrays Rob’s mouth in such a manner that causes clitoral spasms or vaginal secretion.

OMR (oh my Rob) : An expression of pure positive surprisal and panty-exploding shock.  OMR there are new shirtless pics up!

OMWP (oh my wonder Peen) : an expression of pure positive surprisal and panty-exploding shock in the wake of anything that hints towards the peen.

ORALROB : Depiction of Rob either sticking his tongue out, biting his nails, licking something, drinking, showing his teeth, or doing anything else which makes thy loins drip like his tongue on a summer day.  When I see pictures of ORALROB I am wetter than the rainiest day in Forks.

PATTINSLUTS : Those who adore, devote themselves to, lust, lurk, obsess, and idolize Rob Pattinson in any sexually amazing way.  If you’re reading this right now you are a Pattinslut.  And if you deny it, you’re just a slut.

PEEK-O-PEEN : A depiction of a Roberection, either through his pants or whatnot; the discreet game of peek-a-boo that Rob’s rockethead played in Italy.

PEEN : Rob’s penis; the 9-inch wonder.  I want Rob’s peen on me, in me, around me.

PERHAPTION : A cooler way of saying perhaps.  Should I look at Robporn instead of feed the kids?  PERHAPTION.

PROFESSOR PATTINSON : a depiction of Rob in a white shirt and black tie, signing books, looking very studious.  Oh, please punish me, PROFESSOR PATTINSON, I’ve been a naughty catholic school girl… *hikes skirt*

PURPLE FUDGE : lurkers dwelling in the BBR; ones we believe to be Rob on the thread.

ROBGASM : An orgasm caused by Rob.  A Robgasm is an orgasm, only better.

ROBNANA NUT MUFFIN : A term used to describe the thudderstorm-causing bulge in Rob’s pants due to his giant sized peen underneath the blessed tight jeans with the button fly.  I’ll have a ROBNANA NUT MUFFIN for breakfast every morning, multiple times.

(Thanks to RAoR!)

ROBPERMAGASM : The ever-lasting effect Rob has on his Pattinsluts; a forever lasting orgasm.

ROBPORN : Anything to with Rob, pictures, videos, etc.  All the ROBPORN is making my lady bits tingle with anticipation.

ROBSTICLE : the idea that Rob, as a whole body of flesh, is as lickable as an ice-cream pop.

ROBDREAMS : nightly visions of Rob where he does everything to you that you ever fantasized about;  wet dreams.

ROBTASTIC : anything fantastic about Rob, everything about Rob.

ROMEROB : the blessed collection of pretties of Rob when he was in Rome.

RECENTROB : visual stimulation of Rob in his most recent state.  Look!  A picture of Rob in NY!  This is RECENTROB!

RUSTY DUMPLINGS : bawls.  Please remove your RUSTY DUMPLINGS from my gourmet vagine.

SEX BOOTS : The Doc Martins that belong to Rob which are missing their laces and usually cause involuntary sounds to escape from my throat.

SEXPENDERS : Rob’s suspenders; the suspenders that star in all my fantasies where I grab Rob and use them for leverage when he’s fucking me too hard, but oh so good.

SHIRTLESSROB : Rob without his shirt on; that collection of pictures from Italy; a little piece of heaven.

SHITEOUS : a disgusting vomit-in-the-mouth inducing castatrophe that normally is applied to certain horrible fashion choices.  Shiteous Nikes strike again!!!

ps: i love these shoes!

SLAP_A_HO : an occurrence that is frequent due to whores ruining our man’s virtue; a fun game to play on bitches when they are making fame-hungry moves on our man; the act of taking out a ho with a bitch slap to the face and lack of sympathy.  If that twat waffle is seen cuddling with him one more time, I will slap a ho!

(thanks to Roselover2)

SPARKLEPEEN : Rob’s peen in the sun; what occurs when Rob’s peen enters Sparkly (me); yet another name for Rob’s peen.

SPARTACUS : Just ask Mimzy.

SUGA LUMPS : A term to decribe the sweet filled testes that belong to a super sexy male.  I want some of Rob’s Suga Lumps to keep me hyper during the dirty acts!

TAYTAY : another term used for Taylor Lautner.

TEABAGGIN’ : the horrid act of a man sticking his balls in a woman’s face/mouth/forehead; hell.  The twat waffle needs to TEABAGGED to be taught a lesson not to tease.

THUDDERSTORMS : the unbearable throbbing sensations that occur due to all the Robporn in the lower areas of the female anatomy.

TONGUEPORN: any picture that portrays Rob’s tongue in such a manner that causes clitoral spasms or vaginal secretion.  I want that TONGUEPORN between my legs, over and over.. and over again.

TREASURETRAIL : see HAPPYTRAIL.

TWATWAFFLE : anyone who is of negative threat to the freedom of Rob; anyone who can’t act but thinks they can; anyone with less emotion that a non-existent rock.  Kristen Stewart.

(<3 ..shh)

UNGH : the involuntary sound or phrase uttered upon direct or indirect contact with any part of Rob, including thoughts and pictures of him.  *Daydreams about Rob during a meeting, throwing you on the table and fucking you senseless like the beautiful bastard would..*  “UNGHH,” you moan.  “Ahem,” says your boss.  “Sorry..” *Cleans pants*

UPDATIONS : when fan fictions update.  Any UPDATIONS of Wide Awake, The Dominant, or the Office?  No, I’m still sexually frustrated.

WETWARD : wet Edward. the exhilarating depiction of Edward with water dripping from his hair, down his cheek bones, over his pouted lips, tasting it, down his sharp jaw line, and gathering at his chin, dripping off; resulting in the same kind of leakage in the female sex areas.

WETROB : wet Rob; the exhilarating depiction of Rob with water/rain/sweat/etc dripping from his hair, down his cheek bones, over his pouted lips, tasting it, down his sharp jaw line, and gathering at his chin, dripping off; resulting in the same kind of leakage in the female sex areas.

ZYGOTE : the unpubertized Taylor Lautner.

I made it small.  You’re welcome.

Okay there you go!  Now hurry and run to Rob.. he’s waiting on his knees…

With immense love,

-Sparkly

I dedicate this to my Christina.  I hope that, in your venture into the life of a sexual criminal, you come into contact *pun* with Officer Pattinson, who will throw you against the cop car, cuff you up, feel you up, and perform a full cavity search with his 9 inch nightstick.  It’s in his hands already!!!

I hope you learn your lesson!

Or not, so it can happen over and over again!

With love,

-Sparkly